It’s not that Iron Man 2 is particularly bad. It isn’t, really. It’s just aimless, unfocused and deeply confused about what it’s trying to say. The only thing that saves it from being a complete waste of time are the actors (Downey, Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell, etc.) who manage to occasionally elevate the film into something periodically watchable.
The film opens with Tony, backed by a troupe of dancers dressed like Iron Man, introducing the Stark Expo-- a sort of 21st century World’s Fair-- with a speech that makes no sense and serves only to establish the fact of the Stark Expo and convince everyone watching that Tony Stark is the most narcissistic man in the world. It’s a curious and oddly reserved way to open what is ostensibly a big action film and does little to advance the plot or the character of Tony Stark. But as a metaphor for the rest of the film, it’s particularly apt. The entire movie ends up being rather confused and detached with very little momentum or tension.
The actual plot kicks in following the opening of the Expo when Tony is summoned to Washington to appear before Congress. The government, fearful that a weapon as powerful as the Iron Man suit is in the hands of a private citizen, wants Stark to turn over his technology. Presumably to keep the audience firmly on Stark’s side, the Senators never once voice the (completely logical) idea of purchasing the suit. They just demand Tony turn it over to them. Tony, of course, is indignant. And the audience, because Stark is the hero of this film (and the last one), are right there with him. So he refuses, declaring that the Senators should thank him for privatizing world peace and walking out of the hearing.
The problem, though, is that the Senators are completely correct. Tony Stark is an out of control nutjob who absolutely cannot be trusted with such a powerful weapon, something he makes abundantly clear at his birthday party when he drunkenly blasts champagne bottles and watermelons (which, apparently, are just lying around at Tony’s house) out of the air while a cadre of half-naked girls squeal in delight (apparently they don’t mind having shards of glass and watermelon raining down on them).
This is actually a rather interesting idea. But director Jon Favreau and screenwriter Justin Theroux don’t really know what to do with it. They’ve spent the whole first film and the first half of this one basking in the awesomeness that is Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark. To then try and make the point that he’s too narcissistic and self-aggrandizing to be the sole owner of such powerful weaponry is incredibly confusing and goes against everything that’s previously been established. Only now that it’s convenient for the plot do they call Tony’s motives into question. The whole thing just feels hollow and manipulative.
The filmmakers attempt to justify this radical shift from Stark-as-hero to Stark-as-out-of-control-loon by making it a reaction to the fact that Tony is dying (the technology that keeps him alive is also slowly poisoning his blood). But, again, Favreau and Theroux don’t really know what to do with such an interesting and complex idea. To be sure, the notion that what makes Tony a hero is also hastening his death, is a good one. But when Nick Fury (Samuel Jackson) shows up with a magical drug that instantly cures him, it completely undercuts anything interesting the film might have had to say on the subject. Also, Tony never reveals the fact of his impending death to anyone until after the threat has passed, so any emotional mileage that could’ve been wrung out this subplot is totally squandered.
The real problem with Iron Man 2, though, isn’t that its themes are muddied and confused but rather that it’s just kinda dull and lifeless. The most egregious example of this is the howlingly awful gay robot wrestling match between War Machine and Iron Man. Two badass killing machines beating on each other while Daft Punk blares on the soundtrack seems like just the sort of thing a film like this would knock out of the park. And yet somehow the sequence manages to be stultifyingly lame.
The only thing that really works in the film are the scenes featuring Mickey Rourke’s Ivan Vanko, a man who wants revenge for something Stark’s father did to Vanko’s father fifty years ago. The plan Ivan hatches, either the worst supervillain plan in the history of bad supervillain plans or the most ingenious, is to make Tony bleed so that the world will see that he’s vulnerable and not trust him to keep the Iron Man technology for himself. It’s a terrible plan because it relies on too many outside factors (for instance, having the Senators Tony pissed off during the hearing on Capital Hill go on television and declare Stark a menace). But it’s also kind of genius because, if successful, it could ruin Stark the way Stark’s father ruined Vanko’s father.
Of course, the filmmakers squander this potentially interesting idea as well when, halfway through the film, Vanko decides, with no explanation, that he now just wants to kill Stark instead. This leads to the climactic end battle, which, just like in the first film, features Iron Man fighting someone in a bigger, badder version of his suit. The ending of Iron Man was by far the weakest part of that film and seeing it repeated here on a larger scale is a blatant example of sequel-itis (just repeat the first film but make everything bigger and crazier).
Not helping matters is that the film spends long minutes watching Stark play with supposedly cool future technology. He does a weird little pantomime while engaging with some kind of holographic computer. He uses a souped-up iPhone to take control of a television. He even creates a totally new element in half a day (something real scientists spend their entire careers attempting without success). If you just can’t get enough of Robert Downey, Jr., this stuff might go down okay. But if you’re looking for some momentum or, you know, plot developments, you’re out of luck. Unlike in the first film, Downey’s charisma isn’t used in service of the story; it is the story.
Thus, Iron Man 2 turns out to be everything people hate about sequels. It’s bigger, longer and crammed with twice as many characters. And everything that worked in the first film (Stark playing with his toys, etc.) is ridden into the ground. Iron Man 2 offers none of the pleasures of the original. It’s just a machine for making money, following a longstanding formula for financial success and creative failure. That the marketplace will surely reward this strategy handsomely only guarantees it’ll be repeated in the sure-to-follow second sequel.
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